Friday, September 20, 2013

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.

* The Street of Dreams in Omaha continues. No expense is spared in these homes, which feature imported porcelain sinks, indoor/outdoor pools, Italian marble fountains -- no, wait, that's the increasingly expensive UNO arena.

* It certainly took UNL Chancellor Harvey Perlman and A.D. Shawn Eichorst awhile to here issue a supportive statement of Bo Pelini. If that took much longer, Ron Kellogg IV may have been playing QB for the Huskers.

* According to a report, most of Iowa is still in a drought. This is the last thing you want to hear just as you finish draining all the water from your basement after Thursday's storms.

* E! has canceled "What Would Ryan Lochte Do?" The network had no choice after it was discovered even Ryan Lochte didn't care.

* To add insult to injury, E! is replacing it with a program called "What Would Michael Phelps Do?"

* After reaching into the stands for a foul ball, Detroit Tigers first-baseman Prince Fielder grabbed a nacho from a fan and ate it. The next inning, Fielder dove into the stands on a routine fly-out; he had forgot the cheese.

* A photo appeared online of the tallest American with the shortest American. I mistook it for the latest "Bachelor" couple.

* A woman in Maine is traveling the country to meet all of her 626 Facebook friends. It's going well so far: Only 300 have slammed the door on her face and another 100 took out a restraining order.

* The Kansas City Chiefs are undefeated, and the Kansas City Royals have been in contention. The last time we saw that, stagecoaches were traveling Interstate-15.

* Brian Urlacher said the Chicago Bears routinely faked injuries. This season, the Bears will be appearing on Monday Night Football twice and Monday Night Raw three times.

* Urlacher then claimed he pulled a hamstring and was unable to take any questions.

* The Seattle Seahawks set a record for "loudest crowd roar" during a game with the 49ers. That breaks the record previously set when Kid Rock mooned an audience.

Also from Brad: TGIF, or TGIFF for Bo Pelini

Source: Omaha

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